About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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