is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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