she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
vagina is talking i cant
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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