Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
