I'm sorry my penis didn't work
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
