I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize