Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize