seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
