he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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