3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
