If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
