i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
