on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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