I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize