I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
