i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
