I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
