Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
