Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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