I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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