I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
