let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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