She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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