It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
