it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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