So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
