So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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