There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
