somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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