Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you win again, gameday.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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