I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
