3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
