Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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