I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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