no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
