and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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