Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
