Pants 0. Shit 1.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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