The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My cat gives me a boner
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
A bitchslap is in order.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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