I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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