dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
