its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
