I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
