i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
