forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
