He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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