I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize