never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
