McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
