I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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