Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
