Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
