my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
