I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
