he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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