I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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