STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
