I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
